The day (Sunday) started off like any other day. We gathered in the morning for a brief group meeting to discuss travel plans. Afterwards, we were set free for an entire day to ourselves in Paris. Some of us went to museums, others went to Versailles & the catacombs, and the rest of us went to take much needed naps before venturing on with our own plans. You might be thinking, “Why take a nap when you have an entire FREE day to do whatever you want in Paris?” Exhaustion had set in for most of us by this point in the trip. (13 students + travel + no sleep = cranky beyond belief) My original plan was to go to Versailles with a few of the other students, but I want to come back to Paris someday, so I thought it’d be best to save it for another time. I went downstairs to take one last stroll through the beautiful French Market before it closed for the day. The market was such an authentic French experience. Many of the people only spoke French, but they were so friendly and willing to let you try their foods to show you how fresh they were. I bought a Nutella-banana crepe, then it was back to the hotel to pack up my things, this way I wouldn’t have to worry about it later on that night.

Around the time I finished my packing, our group had received news of the Orlando shooting.

I’ve written the start of this paragraph over and over again several times, but there are no words to express how I feel about this horrific event. Before the trip, I think I would have been sad for the families & friends of those that passed, but I wouldn’t have felt the sense of connection that I do now, knowing some of the beautiful history of this community and having had the opportunity to meet some of the most incredible people that are deeply involved in the LGBT community. This event has shown all of us that you really don’t know when something bad will happen and that we need to cherish every day. My heart goes out to the entire queer community around the world during this time.

Some of the students that were in the hotel lobby were having a difficult time after hearing the news, so we all went to dinner together to try and get it off our minds for a bit. The absolute best part of dinner was knowing that, when tragedy struck, I had family to hold me and grieve with me, even though I was thousands of miles away from home. I can’t even begin to express how incredible our instructors were to make sure that we were okay before they even considered how they were feeling themselves, which stuck out to me more than anything. As a future educator, they have given me so much to strive for. The way we have all been here for each other during this time is a strong reflection of what the LGBT community is like as a whole. Always sticking together through hard times, grieving together, standing proud together; this community is just unbelievable.

It was an early morning (Monday) getting up at 4:45 am to head to the airport. Who knew traveling meant lack of sleep?! Once we checked our bags and went through security, (a super simple process – surprisingly) we patiently waited to board our plane. Most of us took naps in the waiting area since we had roughly 1.5 hours until our plane boarded. As our boarding time grew closer, I became somewhat anxious because they were pulling people aside as they were boarding to check through their things and pat them down. Lowell let me know that not everyone goes through it. They typically only select “random” people to check. Fortunately for our group, none of us were selected. The plane ride was long (7ish hours – I was able to watch at least 4 movies during that time) and a little rougher than usual. Luckily, on long flights, the airline provides you with a small flat pillow, a paper thin blanket, questionable meals, and a screen to watch the latest movies on, if you so please. The landing was bumpy, but we made it. It turns out, customs wasn’t as terrifying as I expected it to be. It was actually quite simple and took the least amount of time. Once we finished with customs, we had to get our bags, recheck them, and wait to board our second plane for the day. The second plane was SMALL. It was only 3 seats wide, the side with one person on it didn’t even have overhead bins. This flight was short and I napped for most of it.

Adjusting to the United States has been kind of weird. I never thought that I’d have to adjust to my home: the shower, the toilet, talking to my friends or people in public, etc. I’ve struggled so much with the language barrier for the past week and it’s weird that I will no longer have that problem.  Overall, the adjustment has been pretty easy, but I still can’t order food without saying “merci” when I finish.

After reflecting on this trip, I can tell you that the past few days have been difficult for me. My feelings about leaving have been mixed; one part of me is happy to be home, the other part is heartbroken that this wonderful trip has come to an end. But I think that even though this trip has ended, this is not the end for our group. Our time has come to stand up and make a change. We will take what we have learned about queer history and spread it like wildfire. The LGBT community will be a huge part of our lives and the connections that we have made on this trip will last a lifetime.

June 11, 2016  –  Day Fifteen

Even though our trip is coming to an end, we still had a very exciting day. I apologize now for the length of my post but so much is racing through my head, so please bear with me. The “Sex” part of our “Sex, History, and the Cities” trip has definitely been represented this afternoon. Today’s itinerary scheduled for the Musee D’Orsay and the Musee de l’Erotisme. I did venture further than that today and found incredible experiences. The Musee D’Orsay holds magnificent pieces which date from 1848 to 1914.

This museum first opened in 1986 and consists of works from three institutions: the Louvre, the Jeu de Paume museum, and the National Museum of Modern Art. The art varied from extravagant paintings to brilliant sculptures. On most of our past museum visits, we’ve had a tour guide to lead us and help us break down pieces with the histories and hidden meanings. Today, we did not have a guide, however, we have learned so much that we did just fine without one. As a person who usually just looks at art and doesn’t think much more than “That’s a pretty tree,” I feel I now know what to look for and how to find it. Not taking for granted our previous tour guides of course, (because they have all been spectacular and I am so grateful for the experiences.)

On our trip we have learned that our history, queer history, has always been there but it has either been hidden or never brought to attention. Many times we have found queer art that has no mention of its queerness.

With this trip, our minds have been given new lenses to look through to find our queer histories. My new lenses helped me find the relationships between people that were not familial, but rather sexual and/or romantic.

After Musee D’Orsay, we traveled to an area called Montmartre which was filled with sex shops, strip clubs, lingerie stores, porn shops, the Moulin Rouge (which is a cabaret theater), and the Le Chat Noir (a restaurant which has catered to this area’s community.)

The Moulin Rouge had very risque performances by prostitutes, sex workers, etc. One famous woman in particular was La Goulue. La Goulue was a dancer, sex worker, larger queer woman who danced provocatively and has even ripped her panties during performances. We actually saw a painting of her earlier that day in the Musee D’Orsay.

We were released in the Montmartre for lunch and I would just like to mention how incredibly difficult this language barrier has been for me, I’ve faced language difficulties before but never like this. I know some Spanish but absolutely no French and I feel so ignorant and frustrated for coming to a country thinking everything will be just dandy without knowing their language. Luckily, most people I have interacted with knew at least a tiny bit of English, today however, was difficult. Randy, Avery, and I stopped at one of the first places we saw for lunch, Le Bistrot, and found the waiter barely knew any English and the menu was 100 % French. Thankfully with Avery knowing some French and with many hand gestures, we ordered. Our food turned out to be pretty incredible, too. I just wanted to share how this has been a challenge for me.

After lunch, we moved on to the Musee de l’Erotisme (Museum of Eroticism.) The Musee de l’Erotisme was established in 1997 and was made to present the missing histories of sex and sexuality.

The arts of this museum have been hidden and silenced because of their content. The Erotic Museum brings sex and sexuality to light and instead of shaming the material, these pieces are embraced and brought to life. This museum is very sex and body positive and represents all types of sexuality. I personally saw representation for all types of communities ranging from lesbian couples to the disabled. This museum was a wonderful finish to our art stops. Very queer, real, and historical.                                           

After the Musee de l’Erotisme, a few of us went up this hill at Montmartre and found the most beautiful view. Our friend, Sister Rose, who we met earlier in the week, mentioned to us to go here and see the view in front of the big, ugly church. Religion can be a beautiful thing, however, Rose described to us that this church is so fat because of money and faith is not a value with it. So, we followed her advice, went to the big, ugly church, and saw the view that laid before it.

We returned from this incredible view back to the hotel just to go out again to an art market outside of our place. I ventured alone mostly and found the most incredible art. There were people who had hand made paintings, jewelry, ceramics, cloths, and much more. I bought a scarf and a tiny painting and am so happy with my purchases. It was great to see work from actual French people.

Finally, to end our day, a few of us decided to visit the biggest must see, tourist thing to do. We went to the Eiffel Tower! Never in my life would I have thought that the world would bring me here. The metro rides were long but the view is well worth all of the distance.

We were all dumbfounded and elated. We waited until the area closed and then all of a sudden the tower started to sparkle and it was wonderful!! Because we are dumb Americans, we also ran across a crosswalk multiple times to get pictures in front of the tower. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity of not only seeing the Eiffel Tower, not only my splendid adventures today, but for this entire trip. Dr. Pitts and Lowell put a lot of effort into making this an experience of a lifetime and although I am sad it is ending, I am gracious that it even started.

Today was absolutely amazing! The day started off at the Bastille Market in which Lowell and Dr. Pitts introduced us to the most amazing crêpe stand. After we each managed to consume said crêpes (within seconds), we explored the market and got a fantastic glimpse into Parisian life. There were souvenir stands, clothing, toiletries, and food out the wazoo! There were people singing to passersby and a wonderful elderly woman scolded Madaline for standing in her way.

The delicious crêpe stand we ate at

A little bit past noon, we traveled to meet with some members from ACT UP Paris.

Hugues Fisher (right) and Dr. Yvonne Pitts talking prior to the meeting

Aside from being able to purchase some great gear, talking with Tom Craig and Hugues Fisher of ACT UP Paris was an extremely beneficial and informative experience.

Shirts, buttons, and informational packets from ACT UP Paris

Being able to have such direct conversation with the two gave us the opportunity to see how different or similar HIV/AIDS (known as “VIH/SIDA” in France) are handled in respect to government regulation, societal mindsets, and recent occurrences. The biggest difference when it comes to the epidemic is healthcare and how it affects contraction/reported rates amongst the French population. Since healthcare is free and provided by the government, citizens of France are able to easily test for HIV/AIDS and to receive treatment. Concerning similarities, Paris is experiencing some upsets when it comes to youth involvement. This is a theme that I can’t shake from my thoughts; it’s centered around the new generation – that younger people are not joining the fight against HIV/AIDS. Tom stated that the lack of concern seems to be from the idea that, with the new medications and testing systems, HIV/AIDS are an issue of the past. However, aids.org says with about 50,000 new HIV infections yearly, HIV/AIDS is still considerably an epidemic and still spreading. The end goal of ending AIDS is growingly dependent on younger generations. Going back to our experiences with ACT UP New York, it seems that the issue of youth involvement is worldwide. The need for younger generations to take action and become activists, in this case concerning the HIV/AIDS epidemic, is heavily and increasingly necessary. Having experienced what we have thus far along this trip, it only seems right to say that we are responsible to spearhead this call to action, bridge the gap between the generations, and promote education on safe sex and the facts behind HIV/AIDS, something that each and every school system is far too behind on. We, as informed young adults, are responsible to fight back and fight AIDS.

Group photo with Hugues Fisher and Tom Craig

Bonjour from Paris!
This morning, Kelsey and I had an early start and walked from our hotel to see the Brandenburg Gate, as my trip to Berlin would have been incomplete without it. We then went back to the hotel, set a record for the fastest breakfast ever eaten, met up with the rest of the study abroad squad and our friend Heiner, and walked to the Memorial for the Murdered Jews of Europe.

At the memorial, we were given time on our own to explore the seemingly endless rows of concrete blocks. The paths are uneven and hilly and the giant blocks are of all different heights and textures. The deeper you walked into the labyrinth of stones, the steeper the path and the taller the monument became, swallowing you entirely and allowing you only to see the sun. At any moment, you could have run into another visitor, but when in the rows it appeared to be a rather desolate and solitary experience.

After some time, we met up to talk about our individual experiences within the very post-modern monument. Some of us had little to no emotional reaction, while others spoke of a feeling of isolation and anxiety. The confusion, isolation, anxiety, and the fear of what may be just around corner can be very easily juxtaposed with the experiences of the Jewish people sent to the concentrations camps. These people had no idea what would become of their lives and often could not see a way out and much like the people in the maze of the memorial, the only bright spot was the sun above.

Our discussion also involved the fact that the memorial is extremely controversial and has had two books written entirely about the concept of the structure. Having been built on the grounds of a former Gestapo headquarters, it hits a bit of a tender spot with many people. Paired with the idea that the enormous space has no real meaning (just as the genocide of millions of people), it is a place of much debate.

We then walked across the street to see the Memorial to the Persecuted Homosexuals. At first glance, the memorial doesn’t look like much. Tall and concrete, it could have been very easily assumed that they had been intended to belong together, though they were built years apart. The homosexual monument however, had slanted edges and was not perfectly rectangular. There was a small window on the front side of the box, and inside there was a video being played that portrayed a passionate kiss between two men. Upon inspection, there is no plaque or sign to tell visitors the name or reason for the monument. This lack of acknowledgement as well as the much less triggering word “persecution”, rather than “murder”, shows the hesitancy to address the mistreatment of homosexuals in Europe. We have seen this selective erasure of information and memorialization on every stop of our trip thus far.

Back to the hotel we went and frantically did the packing we were told not to procrastinate on, and caught our shuttle to the airport after shoving 15 people’s luggage into one vehicle like jenga pieces. We made it through security (barely), grabbed lunch, treated ourselves at the duty free, and waited. And waited. And waited.
After a slight delay, we got on our plane, where most of us swiftly became dead to the world (I took the BEST nap on Randy), some of us ate truly terrible macaroons, and we were in Paris in no time!

After arriving in Charles de Gaulle airport, we grabbed metro passes and crammed on to the train luggage and all. We took incredibly awful metro identification photos and after hauling 90 lbs of luggage up and down several flights of stairs and on and off a couple trains, we arrived at our hotel!

By: Erin Osborn

Day two in Berlin brought our group to the most emotionally challenging part of our trip yet. Today we visited Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp. On the way there we met our guide Finn, who proved to be very knowledgeable and informative, yet appropriately personable. We boarded a train from Berlin to the town that the camp is located in, and we walked the same two-mile trek that the prisoners marched. Finn mentioned that yes there are new buildings, but for the most part the architecture that we saw throughout the town was the very same that the prisoners had seen. What immediately stuck out to me was how pretty and quiet the streets are, and just imagining the numerous victims trudging through them didn’t make sense. How could the people of the town stand to see this? After all, the camp was not isolated. In fact, it was practically in their backyards.

Upon our arrival, we learned that Sachsenhausen was established in 1936 and it was the first camp to be built. Finn pointed out a building that he said was probably one of the most important buildings of the time. This was where new concentration camps were planned.

After a bathroom break and a brief overview of German history, we finally walked through the gate leading into the camp. Finn mentioned that there was only one addition to the gate – the clock on top.

The clock was permanently set to 11:07 to commemorate the exact time the Soviets arrived and liberated the camp in 1945. Most of the 35,000 prisoners had already been evacuated on a death march by this time, but about 3,000 were too sick to walk and they were left behind. There are six mass graves just inside the camp to the side, and each holds around 50 bodies of these 3,000. I have a picture of one of these graves but the file size is too large to upload.

We toured the central watchtower above the gates, and through the windows every part of the camp was visible. Sachsenhausen was built in the shape of a triangle for maximum visibility by the guards. This watchtower along with several smaller ones positioned along the walls ensured nothing in the camp was out of sight. Again, I have a panoramic video of the view from the watch tower, but sadly the file is too large to upload.

Sachenhausen wasn’t a death camp, but this does not mean that killings did not take place. In fact, it was actually one of the first places to experiment with fixed gas chambers. As we passed by a pit where prisoners were taken to be shot and as we walked through the foundation of what was once a gas chamber and a furnace where the victims’ bodies were cremated, many in the group were moved to tears.

Something Finn talked about particularly made me sick: the manner in which the ash was disposed of. There was so much ash from the bodies of the prisoners that it was sold to construction companies to make concrete. It was also sold to families of victims under the falsehood that it was the ash of their loved one. As if torturing and working countless people to death weren’t enough, the Nazis made a profit from the dead bodies…from the loved ones of those directly affected.

Toward the back of the camp there is a memorial dedicated to the communists. This memorial has the trademark red Communist triangles on the top, and below there is a statue depicting the Soviets freeing the German communist prisoners. This is a tribute to the liberation from fascism and it shows the communists as victims. What is interesting is that the statue originally showed the German communists as healthy and robust as the Soviets. This wasn’t accurate, and the statue was redone three times in order to paint a more “accurate” picture.

At the close of our tour, we saw the foundations of the prison within the camp. Located here was also a memorial to the homosexuals who were victimized. The plaque reads “Beaten to death, Silenced to death. In memory of the homosexual victims of National Socialism.”

Hearts were heavy as we walked out of the camp, and as we all needed time to process what we had just experienced we were released for the rest of the afternoon. To me this was the most educational and fascinating part of our journey so far. It was a very hard day, but it was necessary not only to our knowledge of the treatment of homosexuals but in opening our eyes to the mistreatment of a wide range of people.

Our final full day in New York City started with an analysis of the photograph on the left, which we quickly bestowed the title of “End of Patriarchy”. The title seemed to be a fitting start to the day given the repeated motif of social justice, activism, and civil disobedience throughout our week in NYC.

This conversation ceased, however, when Jim Eigo and Michael Kerr from ACT UP NY arrived to speak with us again. Listening to Jim’s mostly undocumented narrative of what it was like, living through the 80’s and 90’s, when HIV ran rampant and claimed the lives of so many was an incredibly moving experience. Jim’s narrative was raw and emotional, and made me feel more immersed in the terror the entire community felt, than anything thus far.

Michael hung out, bestowed upon us brand new ACT UP NY buttons, and ensured that each of us had enough ACT UP clothes to last us a lifetime. Having a few hours to spend with Jim and Michael, to listen to their stories was such an intimate experience, and has been by far my favorite part of the trip.

  Following our conversations with Michael and Jim, we ventured over to Greenwich Village to the historic Stonewall Inn. Upon arrival, myself and two other trip participants presented on the historical context of the Inn, including the Stonewall Riots, and how the riots changed the gay community irrevocably. Listening to Tree Sequoia, current bar tender at the Stonewall Inn, speak to his experiences as a young man who used to frequent the Stonewall before the raids was an incredibly enlightening experience. Though Tree is 77 years old today (31 if you like ’em young), he speaks about life before the riots as if it were yesterday. “It was a better time, in my opinion. At least, it was more fun,” Tree reminisced, talking about bribing the police, working at a bar under the control of the mafia, and the constant, invigorating risk of attending a bar regularly raided by the police.

Tree divulged his perception of how the area has changed over the years, reminiscing about the good ole days when you could sneak up to the rooftop of any given building, lamenting that now, every door is locked up. He candidly discussed his own experience during the HIV epidemic of the late 80’s and early 90’s, discussing all of the loss that he experienced, and how the loss still affects him today.

Overall, talking to Tree was a much different experience than talking to Jim. Their stories feel so much different, where Tree seems to look back on the past with fondness and longing and Jim with pain and loss. These stories of these two men, both who have watched the queer community change over the many years, were so moving to listen to first-hand. It’s a special memory for me, knowing that we may very well be the last generation to hear from people who were there the night of the Stonewall Riots. I hold my conversations with individuals who are long term survivors and activists in the fight against the HIV epidemic so dearly. I know that I am incredibly lucky to have been given the opportunity to have these experiences over the last few days.

As our final evening in NYC drew to a close, I spent a quiet night in my dorm room, doing laundry, packing, and preparing myself for a long day of travel. After waking up bright and early to have my final breakfast in the city (a fabulous toasted poppy bagel with smoked salmon and cream cheese), I reluctantly rolled my suitcase into the elevator and took my final 22-floor ride in the elevator to leave the NYU Founders Hall dorm.

Together, we arrived at the Newark Airport nearly 6 hours before our flight, made it through the shockingly painless security process, and spent five hours in an airport, anticipating the long, 8-hour-flight we would soon be boarding.

The hours flew by pretty quickly, and after two movies, two mostly edible airline meals, and an entire book later (If I Stay by Gayle Forman, a great book if you’re looking for a tear-jerker!), we landed in Berlin, exhausted, but excited to be on the next leg of our program!

After a few hours of much-needed relaxation, we ventured off to visit a piece of the post-WWII Berlin Wall, now decorated with a bright yellow spray-paint peace sign. It was shocking to me how what I would have assumed to be a stark reminder of the context of the wall, seemed to be a memorialized in a peaceful way. This reminded me that the Germany we visit today is not the same Germany I learned about in middle school, something I hadn’t realized I’d been nervous about up until that moment. Of course, I knew that WWII was over, that Nazi Socialism had come to an end, and that the work and death camps had been liberated long before I was born, but I’d never really learned about present-day Germany, up until I found myself here in Berlin.

Being here today has been tough. I don’t speak or read German, and find myself unsure of what to do when a language barrier prevents me from living my life as I would usually do. I’ve never been out of the USA, so I’ve never been in a position where I need to be concerned about not being able to read menus or maps, but it has been strangely liberating to navigate the few blocks I’ve managed to explore thus far, despite being in a foreign country for the first time.

Overall, the day presented a few surprises after we saw the wall. We explored the Mall of Berlin, witnessing both an Indian dance flash mob and a protest for unpaid wages within an hour of one another. Both experiences were exciting, and made me happy that I hadn’t chosen to sleep my jet-lag away. Now, it is nearly 10pm in Berlin, and I haven’t had any substantial sleep for over 30 hours. I am exhausted, but I am fulfilled, looking back on my experiences in New York City and so far in Berlin.

I hope you all look forward to hearing about our upcoming adventures. I am incredibly excited to be here, learning about history while simultaneously embracing the present-day culture of these new cities. Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed hearing about my experiences these last few days!

Early this morning, we set off toward Brooklyn to visit the highly esteemed and internationally recognized Lesbian Herstory Archives (LHA). Founded in 1974 by Joan Nestle, Deb Edel and other feminist lesbians, the Archives was a place to recognize the lesbian community and the relationships within that community. Now maintained by Deb and other volunteers, the LHA is home to thousands of collections, periodicals, and books, all pertaining to lesbians and the queer community.

As our group arrived in Brooklyn and approached the LHA, I was surprised to see that it was in the middle of a suburb, half a block from Prospect Park. Although I soon realized that the residential setting suited the LHA- the accessibility that it provided to all women, not just scholars, was a core tenet of the Herstory Archives.

Meeting Deb Edel and being invited into the Archives was a profound experience. To me, this was one of the biggest highlights of the trip. My exposure to lesbian and queer culture was painfully limited growing up in the Midwest. The Archives held in its shelves the proof that lesbians lived and loved across the nation, including the blue-collar communities of small Midwestern towns. I was amazed to learn about the thousands of women that had sent the Archives their stories: love letters, poetry collections, even periodicals shared within lesbian communities. The Archives maintains a real humanity in its work and I am incredibly grateful to all of the hours that Deb and others have put into it.

The Archive space is four stories: a basement and three floors. The basement is used for processing and storage. The first floor houses many books of many genres. Deb shared that the books are alphabetized by first name, in order to avoid the patriarchal alphabetizing by last name, which I thought was absolutely genius. The second floor houses the collections of material that have been sent to the archives from lesbians all across the world, and the many periodicals that the LHA also owns. The top floor is living space and not officially part of the LHA.

One could spend countless hours sifting through the Archives and discovering the intricacies of lesbian life. One could also discover one of the coolest feminist jean jackets in existence.

Dr. Pitts and Lowell gave us time to peruse, although we hardly knew where to start. After taking a group photo and saying goodbye to Deb, we had a free afternoon until we met up in the evening to watch a show on Broadway. Kinky Boots was my first live theater production ever. Although I needed some recap from Dr. Pitts on what was going on, I did enjoy the show- but I think my heart was left behind in the Archives.