Holidays send one-sided messages, expert says

WHAT: Why are certain holidays, especially Christmas, expected to be perfect? A Purdue professor questions the unrealistic expectations of being joyful and jolly for the holiday season.

EXPERT: Heather Servaty-Seib, a professor of counseling psychology in the College of Education, studies grief related to death and other loss. She argues that the holidays, like other life events, likely involve both gains and losses.

QUOTE: “The idea that holidays are solely joyful and perfect is against human nature and against the way we live our lives,” Servaty-Seib said. “There are always things that are less than perfect. That pressure can be difficult.”

“When there is any kind of expectation to be a certain way – like happy during the holiday season – it’s just not realistic,” she said. “Christmas isn’t perfect. The pressure that it puts on people to then wonder about their own life. It prompts negative reflection and negative self judgement. We’re not all joyous all the time by any stretch.” 

MORE INFORMATION ON SERVATY-SEIB:

* Topics of interest: death-related grief, college students and grief, death on college campuses, supporting grievers, death in fiction and on TV, gains and loss framework, disenfranchised grief.

* She was instrumental in leading Purdue and other universities to adopt a grief leave policy for students.

* Associate head, Department of Educational Studies and associate dean of student life, Honors College

* Developed the Perceived Impact of Life Events Scale, an instrument that uses gain/loss approach to assess the multidimensional impact of single-life events.

Writer: Madison Sanneman, msannema@purdue.edu

Media contact: Brian Huchel, 765-494-2084, bhuchel@purdue.edu

Source: Heather Servaty-Seib, 765-494-0837, servaty@purdue.edu