Seeking Help is NOT A Burden
I was overwhelmed. I remember staring at my computer screen after missing another math homework problem, the red “error” message taunting me. It wasn’t the first mistake, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. In those moments, I questioned, “Am I even college material if I can’t pass this one math class?” High school felt easier. College math, however, felt like a different language and my old way of just pushing through alone wasn’t working.
What I did not realize then was that trying to power through alone was the real problem. I thought independence meant not asking for help, but in reality, that mindset was holding me back. Even when I thought I understood the material, my homework and exams told a different story. Flying solo was not strength, it was isolation.
Over time, I discovered that seeking help was not a burden to others, it was a bridge for me. Professors, tutors, and peers were not annoyed when I asked questions, they were often glad I reached out. Studies show that many students avoid asking questions because they fear judgment, but when they frame their questions as clarifying confusion or deepening understanding, it becomes a powerful strategy (Peeters et al., 2020)). Asking is not about admitting failure, it is about owning your learning.
That is why I want to share this simple guide. No matter the class, whether math, economics, foreign language, or science, you can ask meaningful questions that show your effort and help you grow. Here’s how:
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MASTER YOUR CLASSES WITH INTENTIONAL QUESTIONS |
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WHEN TO ASK |
WHAT YOU CAN SAY Demonstrates Effort and Ownership of Learning |
POWER MOVE Next Level Strategy |
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In Class |
I understood the first part of your example, but I’m not sure why we shifted to [new concept / method / interpretation]. Could you explain the connection? |
Note your “muddiest point.” Use it as your first question in office hours or a study group. |
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In Class |
I see how this concept applies in today’s example, but how would I recognize when to use it in a different context? |
If you don’t want to ask out loud, jot it down for discussion board, recitation, or study group. |
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Right After Class |
I followed most of today’s material, but I lost track when we covered [specific idea / rule / theory]. Is there a resource you’d suggest I review? |
Ask for one specific resource (chapter, video, problem set, article) and commit to reviewing it within 24 hours |
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Office Hours |
Here’s how I approached [assignment / reading / problem]. I think I understood [part A], but I got stuck or unsure at [part B]. Can you help me check my reasoning? |
Bring your attempt, even if incomplete. Faculty or the TA can give richer feedback when they see your thought process. |
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I’ve been working through [topic]. I understand [part A], but I’m unclear about [part B]. Could I stop by office hours or is there another resource I should try first? |
Keep it short and respectful. End with your plan: “I’ll review [X] before we meet.” |
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Study Group |
Here’s how I understood the reading / solved the problem / translated this sentence. Does this reasoning line up with how you saw it? |
Rotate roles: one person explains, others question. If no one’s confident, bring it as a group question to a tutor or professor. |
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Supplemental Instruction (SI) |
I practiced this before coming, and I’m getting stuck at [specific step or idea]. Can we go through that part together? |
Use SI to test your understanding: explain the concept in your own words, then ask if your explanation makes sense. |
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Tutoring or a Resource Room |
I tried to apply [concept / strategy] in this assignment and here’s where my reasoning broke down. Can you help me see what I overlooked? |
Ask the tutor to watch your process and give feedback, not just check the final answer. |
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On Your Own (after homework or reading) |
Write: “I understand ___, but I’m unclear about ___.” |
Keep a Confusion Log. If the same gap shows up repeatedly, make it your next office hours or tutoring question. |
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After a Quiz |
I see why the correct answer was [X], but I thought it was [Y] because ___. Where did my reasoning go wrong? |
Redo each missed question or passage. Then explain your corrected thinking out loud to a peer, SI leader, tutor, or video record yourself explaining the process. |
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After an Exam |
Could we review where I lost points? I want to learn how to explain my thinking or write my answers more clearly next time. |
Do an Exam Reflection: What study strategies worked? What didn’t? Write down changes to try for the next test. |
Bottomline: Seeking help is part of being successful in college and in life.
Who do you feel comfortable asking for help? What’s an area where you could stretch yourself by seeking some help or support that you have been needing for a while?
Written by:
Marquetta Strait, Ph.D.
Student Affairs Administrator, Lead - UIA Fellow | University Innovation Alliance (UIA)
Office of the Provost
- Success Messages
